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The title is true (there is plenty of angry driving herein), but the movie never morphs into the completely insane, rip-snorting romp that it feels like it could be in the hands of, say, someone like ‘Crank’ co-directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. The filmmakers lack the sort of upper-eight-figure budget necessary to pull off some of the big set pieces as conceived, but they plow ahead anyway, resulting in these cheesy, disjointed, effects-disabled scenes that look slapped together by an enthusiastic but under-qualified Ray Harryhausen acolyte. The chief problem, though, relates to tone and scale. Director Patrick Lussier, working from a script co-written with Todd Farmer, his partner in the same capacity on the recent remake of ‘My Bloody Valentine’, has editing chops, a robust sound mix and some of the sort of ridiculously over-the-top staging instincts that one imagines make the movie’s more lurid elements connect in 3-D. Pursued by an enigmatic man known only as The Accountant (William Fichtner), Milton hooks up with Piper (Heard), a tough-as-nails waitress who ankles her abusive boyfriend and shruggingly accepts a little supernaturally-tinged road-movie adventure. Bad dude Milton (Cage) busts out of hell (yes, literally hell… not metaphorically), intent on tracking down the cult leader (Billy Burke, awkwardly trying on a Loo-easy-annuh accent) who murdered his daughter, and stole her baby for a forthcoming Satanic sacrifice.
![who is the blond waitress in drive angry movie who is the blond waitress in drive angry movie](https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Tri9OUPy6NU/TWmGplTWTSI/AAAAAAAAATU/WqMP5U0NQ6s/s1600/drive-angry-3d.jpg)
Well, the story reads like some sort of nutty leftover from the go-go, high-concept 1980s. All of which sounds like it should tip the awesome-meter in spasmodic fashion, I realize. Oh, and he drinks blood out of a human skull. And there’s even an action scene where Cage’s character has a shootout while actually having sex with Charlotte Ross. And Amber Heard is, let’s be honest, hot as all get out - hot with two “t”s, really. Oh, sure, Nicolas Cage works his whole zonked-out/crazy thing, this time with stringy, dyed-blonde hair. That said, ‘Drive Angry’ is… well, a disappointment. So it’s best to take my criticism with a grain of salt, and that knowledge. To celebrate his career, we’re shining the spotlight on 25 of his greatest performances - from memorable cameos to Oscar-winning roles.Prior to firing up the 2-D incarnation of ‘Drive Angry’ on Blu-ray, I perhaps made the fatal miscalculation of not throwing down an alcoholic beverage or three. And though Nicholson, who turns 84 today, has long retired from acting, he’s left behind a legacy of rebels, rabble rousers, angry young (and old) men, saints, sinners, jokers, artists, authority figures, killers, and saviors. The man is first and foremost an actor, one of the most talented and memorable film performers to grace screens for five decades. Jack Nicholson has become such a part of the Hollywood firmament - a link back to the shaggy 1960s, the age-of-antiheroes 1970s, and the old-school notion of 1980s movie stardom - that it’s easy to forget that he’s not just a celebrity. And then there’s that presence that he brings with him whether it’s courtside at a Lakers game or front row at the Oscars, an aura of coolness that somehow hints that, yes, you’ve seen him in a million movies and at a million awards ceremonies, but really: You don’t know Jack. There’s the reputation, which precedes him and regards his love of a good time. There’s that nasally twang, which can suggest a come-on or a snarky comeback is on deck, or if you’re unlucky, that a fit of rage is brewing. There are the sunglasses - all the better to hide what’s he thinking, or maybe what he’s been toking, my dear. There are the eyebrows, able to waggle and arch skyward in a single bound.
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There’s the smile, which always seems to broadcast that an entire alleyway of cats have just lapped up a dairy’s worth of cream.